To Rebuild


This summer season has been one of rebuilding & restoring - the act God does best.

Underneath the pile of routine & to-dos & some disillusions of the truth of my Abba I lost my 'spark' with the closing of the semester. It came out of nowhere really - I had been going through the motions of what a heart-led life should look like, but my heart wasn't actually leading.

My focus was spread thin on the colors of my calendar, rather than the Shephard of my soul so it was as if I simply forgot some things, leaving me feeling stuck and aimlessly wondering where my purpose went.  

I forgot that He made me to walk in wild child freedom & deep compassion for others as I began to taste the predictable lifestyle I had used to be afraid of. I stopped longing to fight for justice because I started to override injustice with "it is what it is" statements. My eyes weren't fixed so I was just floundering. 

But in His grace, my eyes are being rubbed open again. And this time with more wisdom to guide them. It has been in solitude on my knees (which to me means my journal wide open) that my Abba has patiently reminded me who He is and who I am in Him. It has been in the redefining of 'discipline' from a consequence to the medium in which so much goodness derives from that growth occurred.  

He is rebuilding my awe for each day as I see Kingdom work to be done. I am learning that the work He has for us comes from unforced rhythms of grace (Matt. 11:28-30 MSG ) rather than strife. I am remembering to priortitze extravagant acts of small love & to take steps onto the waters of the unknown. To set Jesus as my prize & enjoy the adventure He has made. 

I am made new. I am alive. In His power alone I am ready to walk wherever He calls - and to participate in dance parties of freedom along the way. I know who I am and I want to live in her for all the glory ahead.  

He rebuilds. He restores. He is so worthy. Let us be people who sit at His feet as He has His way in our hearts forever.    

Speak In Daylight


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Speak up. Don't be silent. 

God often speaks to me in themes & phrases - and this has been one of them recently. I feel like it has appeared in  e v e r y t h i n g  I've read. There have been moments with some of my beloved people that I felt like I could have stepped up to speak some bolder Truth into. So maybe that's what God was referencing...?

My relationship with this little blog is weird. Flat out weird - no other way to put it. About two years ago now (woah) I felt a clear call to start writing - which to me was strange in the first place because I never considered myself to be a decently talented writer to begin with. But I began putting pen to paper and curating a blog. I realize now that then God wanted me to write for the sake of knowing Him better even more than to share it.   

Many templates, resurrection announcements and deleted posts later here I am. Just as I don't have to come to Jesus all put together with a mask, I don't have to do in this space either. It was only when Truth smacked me upside the head I've taken notice to the lies that have stopped me from writing in this space. 

 

Some (not so) pretty liars:

-people don't want to know about you

-this is a selfish endeavor

-this will distract you from your own walk with God

-there are enough Christian blogs out there already

-you're not going to help anybody

-no one is going to actually care

-you're just trying to be "somebody"

 

Maybe these lies crept in because I didn't know my why or maybe some of these ugly motivations really did hold a presence in my heart. But when I faced the Truth behind the recent calls to speak up and not be silent I knew it was time to take a step.

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What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs

Matthew 10:27

 

This Truth has changed my perspective on this entire written space. He has set me free! He has whispered in my ear! And what is truly selfish is to hold it in for myself. To keep in the greatest news there ever was and will be. This is not an excuse away from for the real-life, often awkward and tough conversations with real faces. Heck no. This is just an additional space, another rooftop for God to set captives free through one of His children. I am but a vessel.

So here is  y o u r  sign to speak (or write, dance, calculate, create) if you are alive & made new in Christ. We can't stay silent. We must share our stories with pure hearts & fixed eyes.